Saturday, August 21, 2010
TWINE TIME
Divine is pregnant and baking up the legs of her revenue...More
lines in the carpet of what really sucks and makes change a noisy
coin to swallow...An over heated gush of prose is untouched
around the room that feigns wall paper ears and shy, shredded
geraniums...Every time a commercial comes on, the cockatiels
panic into song, as though they're elated that something's fated
to become the string that drags across the sidewalk and snaps
around the corner disappearing into a gloveless, digital
fist...Where Divine was waiting is a pot where she cooks the
books...Vacations are a burden, old coast lines and paper hats.
In just a day, I might think of pages of things that need no
introduction...Was it so long ago you said that you'd rather be
sick on the rug rather that suck the staff and relish the tang of
the misplaced seed?... Divine has a job that really sucked,
vacuuming floors in a year she meant to make a clean sweep of
things...I am looking at a bag full of hamster mix...Where were
we wet when warned?...Any day forth coming, there will be pages
of hands, un-retouched contact sheets, whatever it was we were
talking about...
Divine circles "K" for thrift and gas pain… Ten years old
resentments trying on just one shoe, the other falls, both feet
are missing and with out milk...Another play rudely based on the
passage of a small, diamond blessed trickle of saliva that spans
from a fork to a fat lower lip...Suddenly awake next to a man you
smiled at so many years from now...I go looking for my paper
slippers in a hospital hall in between thoughts of mumbling some
thing about Divine’s Dad, who is out like lights in a movie
house..."All your wallpaper appears to be as pasted as you are..."
Through bare need and obvious disregard of the interior
designers' advice, Divine tosses another canto into the pot....I
often drum by bottom lip with a guitar pick and wonder about the
visibility on the bottom of Lake Erie...Your bodies of water
don't scare me, Aquaman... Cockatiels in panic song for food,
someone to talk to, the morning of the eighth anniversary of my
mother's death when she said FUCK IT!! and left town, I was glad
someone took the pennies from her eyes...
The hamster mix
vanished, but there's a trail of saw dust in the fringe of the
pile rug, it's getting harder to have a seat, and then it's me
again, the exact fact, sweeping up...Such a tidy little home
deserves a sign that says 'BUY ME...At every point in the
conversation, Divine was speaking of her resume, about what she'd
like to resume after the swelling goes down...”
Peering at snapshots when he was caught stealing a glance at the
accident that took the attention away from him...Someone named
Bob is getting autobiographical to extents that cause typists to
lose sleep until the end of the century and axes to sweep through
rain forests that are becoming the moonscape of
imagination...Huck Finn discovers grenades and lobs one into the
school cafeteria...Divine takes the pan from the oven...Every
night there's smoke...
Glowing reviews in embers of log fires on her lap, the asking of
"will you marry me"" buries the stab of pain, the gain of the Del
Mar track that's high at the gate and it's too hard to get
started horsing around when the house we have is only paper and
promises, it's too hard after urgings and purgings after the
drinks, where is she?...
The wall paper is a disaster, all I want is art, thought I was
framed, the cheap diamond ring, the intoning pun...He breaks into
the moans of ancient blues shards during the long walks home when
the streets are clear of opinion and he could corner the market
of pain with the husky croon of a stranger's voice, using all of
it as though he it were really his, or saying "AS THOUGH" as if
it meant something...A grand tradition of one man relating to
another man's wallet and wife...
WHERE IS SHE?
Gimmmeeeee a goddamned pigfoot and a bottle of beer...Sweeping up
the trail of dead ants who died over night on the white ceramic
tile...Ambulances, frightened children, minicams, a microphone
in your face...Divine's spike hair cut almost put Bob's eye
out...Okay, you did it, you made the world's largest, meatiest,
sloppiest steak sandwich (Now what?)...
Never run the sucking machine over the white ceramic tile, the
dirt just runs for it's life...Damp, dirty, depressed dialectical
deli's ....In a manner of speaking, it's all a manner of
speaking, such as the bulge and billow of vapor one creates on
cold mornings when you're scoring debate points over the sink
filled with last night's dishes and there's nothing left to try
but tap thee hot air reserve before the servitude doors
unlock...That's right, all our last names are the same,
Bumstead...
WHO ATE THE COLD PIZZA I WAS SAVING FOR THE WEDDING RECEPTION?
Divine gets ready for bed...ashes to ashes, the cigarette burns,
flakes are left in a condominium garage where there used to be
trees and layered dreams of rail road stakes, commerce to the end
of time, Mom dreams forever where blurring is an improvement on
the evidence of things seen and felt...We go on drinking until
the clocks are set in 6/8 time...
Shambling the rambling stretch of grape wine, all roads lead to
the arch of nose bent in the cranny of everybody's business,
filling hankies, awarding testimony, expelling, Divine...
Flanked by a trio of hoods after he'd gotten taking a leak in
the alley behind the theater, Jake zipped his fly, poked a
cigarette between his lips, and asked them what they thought of
the show.
Divine wakes up in the middle of the night, a kicking in her
belly, now she knows where all the money went
"Let's not do this ever again ..."
Let's ask Bob what that is between his legs that was kneeling as
though preying on a losing horse. ..
A harmonica blows the facts of over-described rain into the
cadences of lyrics carried around for maybe weeks that texture a
series of exact moments in time that have nothing to do with
being a dime short for the price of lunch, a fish taco just out
of biting range...
Crucial mastiff at my heels, big black dog, no death, some gain
said wisdom is eliding the data gone sterna or Jack Daniels, the
reek of the dumpster; at least it's not me looking for lunch
I don't feel, feed me the staff of life, I hunger for your
thirst, stereo hard bop vernacular of pulse given integers of
caressing your nuts on a slow elevator, some facts remain, some
one smells a rat, train stations all have the same abused
lavatory signs,
WHERE IS SHE?
Have you ever felt that there's something gone you couldn't get
your hands, like water sliding through the rage of your white
knuckled fist?..
It's a boy, a him they'll sing to, a lyric they've written...
LOOK AT ALL THE PRETTY LIGHTS!...
The wallet that's worshipped is dragged along the side walk,
tied to a string, pulled by hands animated by need...
Listen to what I'm telling you!
Toss another beer into the stew, a Hooverville of shopping carts...
ONE LAST QUESTION: Hello?
The night the city dissolved backstage while high beams shot up
the pant legs of snoring police...Today Divine plans a long bus
ride to the end of the county..."Wasn't God just kidding about
the ways of Mammon?"...Hello?...We are in a room with a cake, a
screaming child, rough, gelled globs on the wall where the paper
shreds and the flowers are abstracted by fingerprints that tell
the cycle of raids on the pantry...
Into each light a little life must fail...Bob smoothes the creases
of his pant leg, checks out his haircut (it's Marine moderne), HE
FEELS LIGHT HEADED...The snoring goes on all night, in dreams, he
is clearing his throat, making sense...It was on his way thought
the Grape Vine, the long knot of road, a final beer and toke from
the pipe and Steve Miller eight track tape that had been on deck
since they spun out of the sod of Turlock WHEN THAT WALL APPEARED
from the dark, the pick up high beams scouring and confirming the
density of the grain of the cement...
The guy who was driving had a pinky on the steering wheel while
he loaded a pipe, the shooting by was constant, the wall, thick
as cattle, got closer, the black was constant, there was hardly a
difference to be discerned...
From her seat on the bus, Divine looks over the swamp to see the
Del Mar race track, from across the bridge she sees showers of
streaking sparks, and then it's gone, the stench and the
commotion, rags and gasoline...The secret society that worshipped
the square declarations of white ceramic tile has a meeting in
the highest vacant office suite in the city and announces that
everything's gonna be alright...Alvin Cash breaks the meditation
of treadless tires gripping Grapevine asphalt for miles and
announces, in the recess of radio static and the slippery scurry
of bald tires in slick rain, that it's "TWINE TIME"...
Twiddling thumbs is an inappropriate response to hearing a
confession of life time wrongs...Is there anything in the pantry
that's not my fault?...Hamster mix is leaking to the floor, even
our ants march by it, there are no hamsters in sight, and no one is
ever that hungry, but dumpsters are a cornucopia, yes, yes,
yesssss, a sound of them chewing what was started, give us
what god gave you, yessssss, dump it all right here...Divine left
the vacuum cleaner by the door...smoke mars the sight of the home
entertainment center, the only meaning we agree on...Bob offers a
spoon of food to an irritable baby who's already seen too
much...A thin microphone wire is wrapped around the announcer's
neck...
THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS ARE WINKING AT ME!...
"Twine Time." repeats Mick the driver,
"WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU
SAY SO??"
and then moves is smallest linger on the wheel just so, the wall coming upon us goes speeding by, Mick pops the eight
track back into the player, Steve Miller can't stop crooning
about wild mountain honey...
Build a fire on your lap and go on slurping the straw that's
deliverance in a pipe. fitted motion of get down from the cloud
the wall the bottle rocket snickering its anonymous explosions
where each sound is a punctuation mark and each sentence an
explosion in a bar at the end of the road where all your jokes
bomb, THAT IS, Bob is thinking too much again, did he lock all
the doors, did the baby get enough sleep, how would Divine drop
everything and start fresh as a slab of dead malarkey on a
cutting board if there was a trend to discern????? These matters
worry him greatly, he can't see and breathing is a problem, like
it was in the Laser Dome seconds before he cut off the tip of
his thumb grabbing his buck knife, whose unforgiving glint in the
rage of cigarette cherries delivered he and the carnival horde
from death in the folds of duct tape and latex...
Maybe the cockatiels will eat the hamster mix and mutate into
winged things that will fly in place forever... Nine years later,
and the tears still come; now and then something is hallowed
from the place he lives...
At the edge of the swamp, just a outside the race track, after
the carnival was closed, a horror of bare chested ride- jocks
furnish bottle rockets and a zillion Bic Lighters and launch
attacks on the Sky Wheel, The Zipper, every two-stick center
joint that pays the flat buck of fuck off, I am standing here,
from time to time as the images twine looking across the swamp
to the bridge and the highway, seeing headlights crawl North and
South, I wonder who's leaving town or coming home and I wonder if
there's some notion of me in any of those car seats, and then I
stare again at the midway, bombs bursting against everything
worth a fortune on paper, and then there's a fire in the
distance, plumes of smoke blacker than even the sea around the
obscured moon, the Laser Dome is hit, the bag sags, and the rockets
go screaming across the sky...
Jake had seen the movie five times already, and was going to
recite some lines of dialogue verbatim to the hoods, but the
biggest goon grabbed him by the collar and lifted him like a rag
doll and told him that his reviews were no good around here...
Where is she? ...
Give a goddamn leg up, what are you laughing at? YOU BASTARD,
COME BACK HERE!!
"If you're so funny, why do you remind me of the black strip on
the back of my ATM card??"
(Born under the terms of disease, but who deserves monikers when
they're tykes under orbs that effect tides and moods that swing
like battle axes?) ..
Where .......... is ............. she ........? ..
Hello? Yes, I would answer the phone, but first, what does it
want to know?...Just think, somewhere on this block in the city,
someone is standing naked in front of the mirror muttering "I
don't wanna, you can't make me”...
I was too drunk to go home, so I broke into the service area
behind the dryers in the laundry room to make believe that I
never happened to anyone...Bob at the end of the bar in a new
punk rock hair cut, he tells the lady next to him he’s sorry
for all the future tragedies...
Where the birds dance on the perch is the lurch of human pride
that says there is something better on the way and it certainly
isn't mail...
Half way down the wall, strips of curled wallpaper and curdled
paste reveal what was disguised, more geraniums riddled with
bullet holes, a whole other set of stories from another batch of
canceled checks …
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Murk is the punk’s name. He is a wise guy full of knotted, tightly-wound muscles and throbbing neck-veins and tense brow-creases. His hair is close-cut and dyed yellow. He has lots of tattoos and piercings. His mind is a scorched pot left on a back burner for two weeks, full of bumwad and rat-baggage. He feels it is impossible to get at the source of his anger, which stokes his rage further like a closed double-boiler. He still feels like he was three and a half, when he tried to get at the bottle of chocolate syrup left on the top shelf of the kitchen cabinet. Murk would stand on his tiptoes and jump straight up in the air but he still couldn’t get at the bottle. His anger at the world is a never-ending Sysyphusian attempt to reach the syrup, acted out in the lower folds of his brain.
ReplyDeleteMurk goes to visit his grandmother at a stodgy restaurant in a downtown department store, the kind that are almost extinct and smell like stuffed cabbage. He wants to get some money out of her, a small amount for rent or weed or something… doesn’t matter. The money is just the beginning. He wants his grandmother to open up the camphor-scented pocketbook of her soul and spill out whatever’s in there, even if it’s just old stale sticks of Wrigley’s gum and lint balls. For once in their miserable fuckin’ lives, he wants his family to give him something meaningful, even if it’s just some dried up pieces of crap. And his grandmother is the center of the family. She’s got to have SOMETHING down in the inner lining of her soul.
His grandmother is this stolid rock of a person, with iron-grey hair and a face like a petrified tree, carved by the elements, with flecks of blue quartz for eyes. She is a thousand years old – LITERALLY – and can never die. She will always be here and will be the rock that the arrogant piss-poor dream-ship of Murk’s great-great-grandchildren will be smashed against, if he has any.
Murk meets his grandmother at the restaurant and slowly begins to assault her ramparts with more and more senseless demands and unmeetable needs. It’s as if spears are shooting out of his mouth and bouncing harmlessly off of her skin:
“You don’t need that old Chevy in your garage… could I have it for awhile…?”
The fan blade in the ceiling above them stirs the atmosphere, thick as cake-batter. The clock on the wall ticks with a pitiless itch. Grandmother stares at Murk with the juiceless righteousness of a graven image worshipped by terrified savages.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”